Everyone feels angry at times! That’s natural,… then why should you manage your anger? What are the potential consequences of uncontrolled temper, leading to actions and harsh spoken words, that could bring regret and cause damage to your personal and professional relationships?
In the Oxford Dictionaries, anger is defined as ‘Feeling or showing strong annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger’. As per the Collins Dictionary, ‘Anger management is a set of guidelines that are designed to help people control their anger’.
Generally, some people tend to be short-tempered, while others are high-tempered. “Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. ” – Laurence J. Peter.
Below is a list of helpful tips, that I find simple and have seen the benefits, having used many of them myself:
1. Think before you speak
Always be careful of what you say, especially when you’re angry. Count to 10, breathing deeply in and out. This clears the mind, so that you can think carefully before you speak.
2. Calm down
First calm yourself down, then speak to the other person. It may be better to move away for a while, then return to talk with serenity. This helps to avoid any further deterioration of matters concerned.
3. Find solutions
A mature constructive discussion should be aimed at finding solutions for the problem / issue or disagreement. When you can’t change things at all, it’s better to accept the fact and move on.
4. Don’t accuse
Stick to ‘I’ statements. Say “I feel tired as I always have to do all the washing myself!”, instead of screaming out “you’re so lazy that you never do anything!”.
5. Be empathetic
You may add “do you feel tired everyday too, that’s why you never give me a hand? Could we plan a week ahead on who will do the chores? ”
6. Release tension
Use humour, for example say “we could wake up the whole neighbourhood if we shout! Instead, let’s go for a walk together at the seaside, and you can tell me about…”
You can start exercising right when you feel the tension building up (instead of arguing), to help calm you down. Added to that, a daily exercise routine will keep you in shape, having longer-term and holistic benefits.
Practice meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises, listen to relaxing music, paint, draw, and more…
8. Speak to a friend or close one
Express yourself to people whom you trust, who understand you, and give unbiased constructive suggestions, supporting you in bringing the desired changes to your anger habits.
9. Seek professional help
If required, opt for counselling sessions, open up and you won’t be judged! Find advice and more techniques to control your anger, practice and evaluate the results!
10. Work on your Emotional Quotient
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is defined as ‘The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically’ by Oxford Dictionaries.
Working on your EI skills will help in diverse aspects of your life, and is conducive to anger management as well. Read books on the subject, attend workshops / online courses, to gain valuable knowledge. Remember to put it into practice!
While no one’s perfect, the more we make efforts to improve ourselves, the more we’re likely to achieve desired results! Have you had any experience in controlling your temper? Would you like to share your ideas? Please do so. Thank you!